I am hoping this is simply not totally crazy, but I have read so many posts concerning the unpleasant thoughts about needing to disclose trauma details to your t. I'm working with almost the other.
I have several 'issues' that I'm aware of from an emotionally/verbally abusive step-father to a grownup that I trusted as being a maternal figure that revealed she'd other tips for that connection in high-school... and then what is daily becoming more of the certainty that I have repressed very early punishment (I have always had dangers but am not hearing his and my speech in my own head which isnot nice change of words)... I have NEVER told details of ANY of this stuff. I've described to two people that "something" occurred with this person that was the extent and I respected. I am plagued short video in my own head of the people I remember, by photographs and today these voices of what I suppose.
I have discovered that I can't tell him ANYTHING if he does not ask and am working together with a t. I have told him this and he's great at wanting to ask me questions. The problem is, I can also not tell him things to ask. I know it might sound totally mad, but it is like I'm not allowed to just openly tell things but I am permitted to answer. He has gone back and forth about 'handling' stress then I believe I'm so silent about things going on he doesn't believe they're and starts to believe we must go another way. I get angry when I hear him talk about not addressing the trauma exclusively and obtain quite depressed and need to stop trust about ever getting relief. I can't tell him that although it is like I KNOW I have to have these details out. I believe he's also worried I can't handle working with the stress right because of my panic attacks, but I really donot understand how to alter any one of this. He discusses wanting to get it done with as small depth and trauma as possible and I have read about all these new solutions to handle PTSD without detailed control, but I want it bad.
Does this sound right to ANYONE? I understand I would Tell About Stress be REMARKABLY embaressed to state the items I would have to and that I hope it'snot something sick building me need to... But I am worried we will spend years because he thinks I am scared tiptoeing around the details and I am seriously wanting to pour the beans. I wish I could tell him this, however it is not allowed.